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The market dumped, here's why!

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  1. The ‘To the Moon’ mission got postponed, due to unforeseen market gravity.
  2. Someone said ‘blockchain’ three times in a mirror, and the market spooked itself.
  3. Crypto conferences turned into support groups, with everyone asking, “But why?”
  4. Tech stocks dropped, and cryptos got sympathy pains. It’s like catching a virus from your (un)correlated asset.
  5. Uniswap got a Wells notice from the SEC, and the market reacted like it saw a ghost.
  6. Bitcoin decided to take a dive – maybe it’s training for the crypto Olympics?
  7. Ethereum slipped 9%, proving again, for 420x time that it's not the last time to buy it under 4k.
  8. Dogecoin plunged 14.2%, which is ruff, even for a coin wif a dog on it.
  9. Inflation was hotter than a meme coin’s hype, causing interest rates to soar like a rocket – but without the SpaceX safe landing.
  10. Investors took profits at the peak, treating the market like a game of musical chairs – and the music stopped.
  11. Meme coins were hit hard, showing that internet jokes might not be the best investment strategy.
  12. Solana was on a rollercoaster, going up and down faster than your stomach can handle.
  13. The market just needed a weekend break – even cryptocurrencies need that 4/20 halving break.
  14. Whales moved markets, maybe they were just showing off their swimming skills.
  15. Stablecoins got a bit wobbly, seems like they forgot how to ‘stable’.
  16. NFTs suddenly weren’t everyone’s new best friend, it’s like high school all over again.
  17. Decentralized finance (DeFi) platforms had a ‘defi-cult’ day, and the irony wasn’t lost on anyone.
  18. Crypto influencers went silent, maybe they ran out of hashtags?
  19. Mining for Bitcoin became harder than actual mining, pickaxes were considered as an alternative.
  20. And finally, the market realized it was almost Friday the 13th, and decided to play a prank on all of us.

TL;DR: The road to 100k intact moonbois!

submitted by /u/cascading_disruption
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